Tag Archives: Final Fantasy

Final Fantasy (NES) Review (1987)

Hey all it’s Kern here! I’m coming at you with a game review of Final Fantasy. Yep… we need to go back to where it all started. These days the game is kind of messy and doesn’t hold up the way slightly later titles do, but let’s not judge it too harshly… it did after all save Square Soft’s butt back in the day… lol.

These days, we know them as Square Enix, but back then, they were just a tiny, assumed to be doomed company.

Before we begin, this game has had a lot of ports, but this article here is a pretty staunch defender of the classic title, and it’s worth a read if you want to know about the more modern port of the game.

A Franchise Born on the NES

Final Fantasy is a 1987 fantasy role‑playing game developed by Square for the NES. At the time, Square was practically bankrupt and this game was their last ditch resort. Needless to say, the game was a hit and it saved the company. It also launched what would become one of the best‑selling video game franchises in history… but that’s another story… one we will get to as I review this franchise in earnest.

Now, I’ve played a lot of Final Fantasy games over the years, and my first Final Fantasy game ever was Final Fantasy VI (or FFIII for the NES). I was much older when I played the original game. When I fired up the NES original, I didn’t have high hopes. I mean, the game came out all the way back in 1987. It was all pixels and a prayer. There were absolutely no CGI cutscenes, no espers or materia, and no iconic characters as we know them today…

Beyond that, jobs and abilities were hugely limited. There was only a White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage, Thief, Warrior and a Black Belt to choose from when you begin the game, although these jobs change to what FFXI and FFXIV would know of as advanced jobs as you play through the original Final Fantasy.

That being said, since this game set the baseline you can see a lot of the standard Final Fantasy DNA here, along with other role-playing games of the era. Anyway, I fully expected it to feel clunky, flat, and a bit painful… and to be fair, it is…. it’s the very first game, after all.

So, I find that being the first game in such a long running and beloved franchise forgives a great deal, and it excuses Final Fantasy too due to age.

Hey, it’s not like I didn’t have my biases against the game, either. For example, without buying gear or magic, you’ll die almost instantly in the over world. Now, most FF games assume you might do that, and gives you a very basic set of gear to begin with unless you happen to be a very special breed of clunky (Final Fantasy XI, looking at you my beloved MMO diamond in the rough… but, seriously, WTF?!)

I digress… anyway, at least there was one thing players had to help them out a fair bit. Fun fact, did you know the original Final Fantasy came with a beautiful full-color, 89-page manual? It didn’t come with just basic instructions, this thing had it all. I’m talking full on mechanics here; total spell breakdowns, beautiful maps, and all of it decently laid out. The book even included a fairly decent walk-through for most of the game.

Seriously, if you’re going to play the original Final Fantasy, or any of its iterations/remasters, then use that book or an online guide to help out a little. Although, maybe I’m partial to it, there’s just something about sitting in front of a guide, feeling the pages between your fingertips, with a controller in your lap, you know?

I did that with a lot of games growing up, and it’s how I learned to read, actually. I didn’t always write book reports, I wrote full on “game reports” since there’s more reading in one of those games than an average children’s book I got away with it too, lol…

In any case, let’s really talk about just how ambitious this game really is. It is a bit clunky without the guide, I must admit, but let’s chat about what they got right, and horrifically wrong.

The Good, The Bad, the WTF!

First of all, this game is all the standard Final Fantasy joys reduced down to their most simple components… we’re talking towns, dungeons, vehicles, and elemental temples, job classes, and other retro rpg set pieces.

You build your own team in the first game. Four characters, six jobs to choose from, and your choices actually matter a lot.

To rehash, the jobs are: Fighter, Thief, Black Belt, White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage.

Pick wrong, and the game punishes you. Pick right, and it rewards you with just enough flexibility to survive the punishing grind… and yeah, say it with me now…

“Level grind, level grind, makes you lose your freakin’ mind!”

Yeah, the grind is the real deal. This is an old-school RPG, you’re going to be grinding a lot. You need it for your cold hard cash (Gold in this case it wouldn’t be called Gil until later), leveling up, and even just to get from place-to-place enemy encounters can happen a lot. I’ve personally always felt that a sense of slow growth is so satisfying, but here it does feel like a little bit too much.

It’s a slog really…

These characters don’t really have firm personalities, it doesn’t feel as rewarding to level them up. We just don’t have a Sabin Figaro or Cloud Strife to bank on here.

Still, in a general sense at least, every step forward feels earned. Every spell slot, every upgrade, every boss victory… yeah, sure, it fits just fine and dandy. To some degree, it felt like it mattered “enough”, which for the first game ever from a failing company in bankruptcy says a lot.

Without fully fleshed out characters though, the story is downright bare-bones.

You’re the Warriors of Light, just without the bombastic plot of FFXIV. Of course, there are monsters and a big baddie in your way. This screen here basically tells you all you need to know about the over all plot:

Erm, yeah… that’s about it.

I know, I know, I just described most RPGs of the era, and of course I did… that was the standard formula back in the day, more or less. Honestly, I can’t fault it too badly. The simplicity actually works, and not everyone is like me, demanding heavy and thoughtful plots in their games.

Final Fantasy doesn’t care if it’s got a rich story, it isn’t pretending to be deep. It won’t pull off philosophical themes or cinematic twists. In that way, it may just be the perfect Final Fantasy game for some players.

Where the game really does well is within the overall mechanics and gameplay loop. Although, the game can be hard for those that don’t play rpgs. There are five different ways to travel: walking, canoe, boat, airship, and even teleportation. Without a story, that’s part of why it’s so easy to get lost…

The dungeons are punishing too. Some of them are just straight-up downright brutal and will wipe the floor with you if you go in unprepared. Stock up, seriously…

Stock up!

You’re going to hit battles with preemptive strikes, and some of those hit way harder than you’d think they would. There are no Phoenix Downs in this version (another downside), so if someone dies, your only option is to hike your happy ass all the way back to town and pay to revive them… not a fun thing to do, really.

If half your party gets wrecked halfway through a dungeon, that’s it! You’re kissing your butt goodbye on a game over… either that, or you’re pulling a clinch-kill in that final half with pure luck and gumption alone.

Let’s not pretend the game doesn’t have massive flaws where it counts too. Because it absolutely does. A lot of them. Stats like Intelligence? Erm, they kinda don’t really work… like, at all. As for spells like TMPR and SABR? Those are a real fart in the wind… and it only gets worse from there when it comes down to issues.

Overall, when you’re talking about general Crit rates, those are supposedly tied to weapon position in the data table, which means cheap early weapons are sometimes the absolute best.

Also, basic potions suck hardcore… so there’s that. Enemies can stack large numbers during an encounter (hence the grinding, alllll the grinding).

Then, of course, we have the little spell related issues. Spell slots are so limited, you’ll be rationing magic in ways that can be annoying just on principle… but, that’s the nature of the game and a product of its time.

The problems aside though, combat is pretty basic but a lot of turn based systems are… not much to say about it really. If you’re a fan of old school RPG’s you know roughly what you’re in for.

So… Is It Worth Playing?

Yeah… yeah it is… more or less…

Look, it’s a clunky old fart, to be sure… but, it’s an old fart of a game that deserves recognition, and I’ll give it that.

Final Fantasy on the NES is a rough game to play for some people, but it’s rough in that lovable, if amazingly groundbreaking way that early gaming classics are.

Yes, it does often miss the mark… but think of it more like a beta for what Final Fantasy as a franchise would one day become.

Personally, I can feel the ambition behind every mechanic. I can see what the devs were trying to do, even when game failed to fully accomplish it. failed to do it… and to me, that makes it a special little gem worth playing.

Despite the bugs, the balance issues, the grind, hardly any decent characterization, and even less in the way of guidance, not to mention the glitches, this game is an achievement onto itself.

No matter what we might think about it, Final Fantasy put Square Soft (now Square Enix) into the long lived gaming studio we know and love it to be… even when they still succumb to janky ideas that needed more time to cook (Thank you Dawn Trail).

I was pretty harsh on this game though, so let me put a little balm on the wounds I just sliced into it by leaving a fan song here:

This has been Kern of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time! For now, check out some other stuff below and don’t forget to support us on Patreon! We’ve got a $1 tier, and every little bit helps!

YouTube Playlists of Interest:

FAIL: Fallen Angels in Limelight – rock, glam rock, hard rock.
City of Shadows Album 1 – A musical story about two cities joining together as one deep in the desert. A literal tyrant has come to lay claim to the city, and an uprising occurs.
City of Shadows Album 2 – The exciting continuation of City of Shadows. Time to set out and travel the world! This story is ongoing, with song releases every Wednesday and Friday.
Roll for Glory Album – An album dedicated to the wonderful world of DnD, and the fictional band in “Thunderous Power Kicks” (T.P.K) led by their fearless leader and Bard.
RWBY Fan Songs – Fan made songs for the RWBY series encompassing several musical styles. (Kern’s on going project).
Video Game Fan Songs – Fan made songs about video games spanning a wide variety of gaming genres and song styles (Kresh and Kern’s ongoing project).
Ferret’s Synthwave – Songs with a Synthwave vibe.

Final Fantasy (NES) Review (1987)

I’m coming at you with a game review of Final Fantasy. Yep! We need to go back to where it all started. These days the game is kind of messy and doesn’t hold up the way slightly later titles do, but let’s not judge it too harshly… it did after all save Square Soft’s butt…

Loot River Review

For starters, Loot River is an action based rogue-like game that was developed by STRAKA.STUDIO. It was also published by STRAKA.STUDIO and SUPERHOT PRESENTS. This game was announced back in 2021 and released on Steam for Microsoft Windows on May 3, 2022. What you’ll get here is a fusion of puzzle solving and action based gameplay.…

Should I get into Elite: Dangerous in 2022? Yes! Here is why…

Elite: Dangerous is the modern installment in a series of renown space simulation games from Frontier Developments. If you have ever wanted to experience what it would be like to make a living hopping from star to star in the Milky Way galaxy, this is the game for you.

Top 5 Bosses from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Hello everyone, this is Ebby of The Demented Ferrets. This will be a Top 5 list of my personal favorite Bosses from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the Nintendo 64. Please note that these are simply my opinions, and I do not speak for anyone else.

Final Fantasy Fan Song – Epic Six!!!

Hey classic RPG lovers, it’s Kern here! If you grew up casting spells, saving on Slot 1, and grinding EXP in Marsh Cave, then this fan song is made for you. “The Epic 6” is a nostalgic, 8-bit-inspired tribute to the original Final Fantasy (FF1). This original song retells the journey of the Warriors of Light; Fighter, Thief, Monk, White Mage, Black Mage, and Red Mage. Together they rise from humble beginnings in Cornelia to face legendary trials and save the world.

Lyrics:
Do-do-da-da, do-do-da-da…
Awaken the world with pixel fists of fate.

We rose from Cornelia, six blades in the sun,
The Fighter stood fearless, the journey begun.
The Thief dashed quick through the shadow and light,
While the Monk crushed stone with bare-knuckle might.
The White Mage prayed with a staff held high,
The Black Mage sparked like a fire in the sky.
Red Mage walked in with a sword and a spell,
All roads were open, all fates to quell.

We are the Epic 6, forged in quests and tricks,
From pixel plains to burning bricks.
We level, we clash, we cast, we fight, In the 8-bit dawn, we burn so bright.
Together we rise, together we fall, With blades and books, we answer the call.
We’re the Epic 6, forever bold, In a world of myth and dungeons old.

We crossed the seas on pixel tides,
Through marsh and cave where darkness hides.
A crown was stolen, a fiend awoke,
We fought with hope and worn-out cloaks.
A bridge was built, a world unlocked,
We stormed the keep where monsters stalked.

Step by step, and fight by fight,
We earned each point of stat and might.
Save on slot one, don’t forget to rest,
A tent by moonlight, then on to the quest.
Elixirs rare and gold so thin,
But XP flows where hearts begin.
We met the king of dragons, eyes aglow,
A trial of worth in the fire below.
He saw our strength, our journey true,
And said, “Now rise… become renewed!”

The Fighter turned Knight with a holy blade,
The Thief to Ninja; fast, unafraid.
The Monk found peace and the Master’s grace,
The Mages rose to wizard’s place.

We are the Epic 6, reborn through grit and clicks,
From byte-sized dreams to warlord tricks.
With shining spells and power unfurled,
We face the Four Fiends, we’ll save the world.
Together we burn, together we shine,
Our fate was forged in crystal design.

We’re the Epic 6, hear the tale,
Of heroes born from an 8-bit trail.
In the data of dreams and the dawn of the fight,
The Epic 6 march through pixels and light.

YouTube Playlists of Interest:

FAIL: Fallen Angels in Limelight – rock, glam rock, hard rock.
City of Shadows Album 1 – A musical story about two cities joining together as one deep in the desert. A literal tyrant has come to lay claim to the city, and an uprising occurs.
Roll for Glory Album – An album dedicated to the wonderful world of DnD, and the fictional band in “Thunderous Power Kicks” (T.P.K) led by their fearless leader and Bard.
RWBY Fan Songs – Fan made songs for the RWBY series encompassing several musical styles. (Kern’s on going project).
Video Game Fan Songs – Fan made songs about video games spanning a wide variety of gaming genres and song styles (Kresh and Kern’s ongoing project).
Ferret’s Synthwave – Songs with a Synthwave vibe.

RWBY Fan Song: Loneliness Like Mine

Hey everyone, it’s Kern here! I’m coming at you with a RWBY fan song for the Freezer burn pair (Weiss and Yang). These two are amazing,…

Final Fantasy XI Fan Song: The Shadow Lord Will Fall

Hey all, it’s Kern here. Grinding out rank missions on FFXI (once again) inspired Kresh to make a fan song about the Shadow Lord battle. You’ll see our characters from our Twitch streams in the video, along with the hilariously fast take-down of the Shadow Lord since we were uncapped for the fight.

The grind to Rank 10 wasn’t so bad on the Level Down 99/99 server, which I would highly encourage any fan of Final Fantasy XI to try for themselves if they’re looking for easy grinds through monotonous content, or looking to skip certain sections of the content entirely. If you don’t want to run story missions for the endless time, this is the server for you.

In fact, it was probably the most hassle free grind we’ve done thanks to the travel systems and increased run speed. A breath of fresh air, for us as players we really enjoy this server because the trust system has been implemented and the community is wonderful.

In any case, Kresh and I hope you enjoyed the song. Don’t forget to check out a few other pieces of awesome content down below!

This has been Kern, of the Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest, and level grinds are par for the course. See you next time.

Kresh and Kern’s brand new disaster through Eorzea. Final Fantasy XIV Part 2: A Misadventure Reborn

Hey all, it’s Kern here. Kresh and I have been playing Final Fantasy XIV on our live streams. This is part 2 of our level grinds, joined by our friends for havoc and good time. Lots of laughter in this live stream.

In this particular stream we continue where we last left off. Before the stream, Kresh picked up a tank job and got it to the same level we ended off at. We want to be sure to stay around the same basic exp and level range if we can. From now on Kresh is playing a tank and I’m still playing a healer.

We finally escaped the low level zone of Gridania and the shrouds of forests that surround it… for now at least. We do 3 of the story related dungeons this time around and amass a few levels while we’re at it.

You should subscribe to our twitch so you can watch our streaming content live, but you can find the playlists on our Twitch and our YouTube channels as well.

Kresh and Kern’s brand new disaster through Eorzea: Final Fantasy XIV part 2: A Misadventure Reborn

You’ll want to follow our twitch if you want to see things live when they happen.

After a few story line related missions we entered Sastasha, a level 15 dungeon that keeps the training wheels on more or less. It’s pirate themed. I was massively under geared at the time, since due to the streamlined leveling process I thought I’d hit 20 before we entered and I’d be allowed to equip the gear I’d purchased to prepare for that.

Almost immediately after that, it was time for The Tam-Tara Deepcroft a level 16 dungeon all about a subterranean crypt used as a resting place for rulers and nobles of Eorzea. Outside of a few rusty pulls, it goes fairly well enough.

Once we escaped that, we did more story missions. Before we knew it, were ready for the aptly named quest “Copper Hell” and therefore entered the next instance, Copperbell Mines. This is a level 17 dungeon that has been made much easier since the enemies have been weakened and the developers made the area easier. I still personally hate it though.

All in all, it was a good live stream and we put a nice dent into the three hours we played. We didn’t get to do more gaming over the weekend because Kresh went away on holiday, but once she returns we’ll be back with more misadventures for sure. See you next time.

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time.

Click to Donate

You can help support us through PayPal or Patreon.

Meanwhile, check out some of our other great content below. You can also find more information about supporting us at the bottom of this post.

A Final Fantasy XIV Misadventure Part 1

Hey all, it’s Kern here. As I’ve said, Kresh and I have been planning to do Final Fantasy XIV streams from level one all the way through. We did our first stream on Saturday.

Also, I want to give a quick shout-out to our newest Patron, Bryan BSB. Thanks for your support man, you’re awesome!

Saturday we began our new characters for the live stream and began the story quests. We reached level seventeen in the level grind so far. Kresh was on her archer and I was on my conjurer. Since the game has been around a while, quests have been streamlined to better fit the leveling model.

In all honesty, you should subscribe to our twitch so you can watch our streaming content live, but you can find the video for Saturday’s stream here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1471163476

Since it was the first day leveling upon these characters, we were basically just speeding through early content and goofing around with a friend from our free company aptly named, you guessed it, Demented Ferrets.

I have two streaming characters, Kresh has one. You can find us on the Phoenix server, so if you play over there give us a wave. If you see us online, that’s us live streaming. My streaming characters are Kern Alty (solo streaming) and Kernook Cadfan (static character with Kresh). Kresh has named her character Kresh Aranara (streaming and static character with me).

Kresh and Kern’s brand new disaster through Eorzea: Final Fantasy XIV part 1: A Misadventure Reborn

You’ll want to follow our twitch if you want to see things live when they happen.

We had to start in Gridania, but Kresh will be switching jobs to a tank soon enough. Likely a warrior or a paladin. This is fine and dandy, as we want to play a healer and tank combo.

As for why we didn’t start in a different city, I made a blog post all about the largest issue you may run into regarding that; starting cities. You’ll want to give that a read if you care about starting city kerfuffles. If not, no big deal.

Ultimately we plan to stream FFXIV at least once a week, though Kresh will be going on vacation soon for a short time, so you’ll be stuck with a bit of solo streaming content for a while as of the 7th of May for a week or two.

I’ll be sure to stream on my solo character though.

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time.

Click to Donate

You can help support us through PayPal or Patreon.

Meanwhile, check out some of our other great content below. You can also find more information about supporting us at the bottom of this post.

With your contributions, you make our efforts possible. Thank you for supporting our content. Patreon supporters receive access into our official Discord server, and a few other perks depending on the tier. If you don’t care for Patreon, and don’t care about perks, you can always support us through PayPal too… links below.

Those who join via Patreon get special perks, such as extra content, quicker updates, and more.

Click to Donate

To Our Supporters

Thank you for helping us to enrich our content.

Patreon Supporters:
($3) Little Ferrets: None
($5) Demented Minions: Francis Murphy and Andrew Wheal.
($7) Fandom Ferret: None
($14) True Blue Ferret: Bryan BSB.
($25) Premium Ferret: None.
($50) Round Table Ferret/Fluffy Ferret: Josh Sayer

Things Final Fantasy XIV Did Wrong – Starting Cities

Before I begin, let me preface this by saying that I think Final Fantasy XIV does a lot of things correctly when it comes to being a very solid MMORPG. I enjoy the game a lot, and I’ve spent plenty of time (and subscription money) to frolic around in Eorzea. What’s Eorzea you ask? Well, it’s the fictional world Final Fantasy XIV is set within.

A bit of backstory seems prudent. I began playing Final Fantasy XI back when it first released in the USA in the early 2000’s. I played the original Final Fantasy XIV before Square Enix tossed aside the project and went back to the drawing board (more on that game and its countless failings in a separate post). That’ll be a rabbit hole if I ever decide to explain that mess.

Anyway, when the game later released anew under the name “A Realm Reborn” I claimed my free copy offered to those of us who had played on the old game for so long and dove headfirst into my favorite type of MMORPG, the Final Fantasy kind.

For years though, I’ve always thought that Final Fantasy XIV made a few decisions that weren’t exactly wise for gamers like myself, coming from other MMORPG’s with the intent to “static” with other players.

What is a “static” you ask? Well, that’s simple, it’s when you play a game only with a select few people, and you do so regularly. In FFXI, static parties were a commonality among close friends. Many MMORPG’s seem to put systems into place that destroy the “static mindset” and considering that FFXI thrived on that style of gameplay, you can guess how I might feel about that…

Generally speaking, I’m not too happy at all with the concept.

While Final Fantasy XIV has plenty to praise, the story line particularly, it also has one thing I absolutely despise… well, it has a few things I despise, but none more so than they way they start you in a city based on what job you plan to level, rather than where you’d LIKE to start.

Say for example, what’s going on for Kresh and I currently as we plan a stream day around Final Fantasy XIV (yes, we both like the game that much, that we’re going to stream it regularly soon). There’s just one problem, I plan to level WHM (White Mage, a healer for the uninitiated). Kresh plans to level a tank… however, there are no tank jobs that start in Gridania, meaning Kresh would have to start elsewhere.

See what I mean?

It kind of defeats the purpose of friends starting off together on new characters. If don’t start there, I would need to wait to level the job required to unlock WHM, however, if we don’t start in the city Kresh where Kresh can get a tanking job, then it makes for the same problem in reverse. This is a confine of the game directly, and it makes for something of problem that is strangely antiquated despite the fact that the much older MMORPG (FFXI) never had this problem if the first place. Jobs were not implemented in this way.

Final Fantasy XI never had any such issue, because you could choose your job and your starting location. It wasn’t a lose-lose situation. It didn’t have to be. Final Fantasy XIV should have followed suit in my personal opinion, because games that discourage friends to play together based on something as arbitrary as starting cities loses focus on what an MMORPG truly is.

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Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game… that’s what MMORPG stands for, and it should be at the core of the valuable systems indicative of the gameplay experience.

In this particular aspect, and a few others, Final Fantasy XIV failed that concept. The starting cities based upon your job within the game is a key point to make about this.

Now, to be clear World of Warcraft had a similar ideology at one point. It was irksome there as well, particularly during the dark ages when being a druid forced you onto starting as either a Tauren or a Night Elf. However, at least in World of Warcraft that made sense within the wider lore and universe. Final Fantasy XIV has no set player-verses-player standard the way that World of Warcraft did, nor, longstanding lore to draw from. Therefore, I find the “lore” argument a harder one to make or even defend for Final Fantasy XIV.

Now, to be clear, in Final Fantasy XIV this really is just a minor annoyance at best, as you can change your job at whim… however, that’s kind of the point. In World of Warcraft, you couldn’t do that. If you picked say… a warrior for example, then that’s what you were… a warrior… you couldn’t suddenly change your job to a mage or or a priest just because you felt like it. You had to start another character and begin the grind again.

In Final Fantasy XI and in Final Fantasy XIV you can level all of the jobs on one single character, with no need to make a second or a third. With this ideology in mind, surely you can see how it might be just a little reductive and in some ways flat out idiotic to demand a starting location based on your starting job alone.

Some games pull off that sort of limitation more believably than others, but in my personal opinion, Final Fantasy XIV just isn’t one of them… you may actually like this system the way it is, and if you do, that’s fine too. This, to me, is just a personal annoyance, but one that sticks out so perniciously as one very bad idea, and one that just didn’t have any real need to be implemented in the first place.

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time.

Click to Donate

You can help support us through PayPal or Patreon.

Meanwhile, check out some of our other great content below. You can also find more information about supporting us at the bottom of this post.

With your contributions, you make our efforts possible. Thank you for supporting our content. Patreon supporters receive access into our official Discord server, and a few other perks depending on the tier. If you don’t care for Patreon, and don’t care about perks, you can always support us through PayPal too… links below.

Those who join via Patreon get special perks, such as extra content, quicker updates, and more.

Click to Donate

To Our Supporters

Thank you for helping us to enrich our content.

Patreon Supporters:
($3) Little Ferrets: None
($5) Demented Minions: Francis Murphy and Andrew Wheal.
($7) Fandom Ferret: None
($14) True Blue Ferret: None.
($25) Premium Ferret: None.
($50) Round Table Ferret/Fluffy Ferret: Josh Sayer

The Demented Ferrets are Streaming Final Fantasy XIV

Hey guys it’s Kern here, with a quick update. As some of you may know, we play Final Fantasy MMORPG’s such as FFXI (Final Fantasy 11), and now we’re going to start streaming FFXIV as well (Final Fantasy 14).

I’m excited to be able to start fresh characters and begin the story-line of Final Fantasy XIV from the very beginning… which we will be doing next month, in the meantime, you may see me goofing around on the game on my own during early morning side streams on an alt character. You’ll want to be sure to follow us on Twitch for when we go live.

As far as Final Fantasy XIV, we’ve been playing the game for a long time now, years in fact. These particular games mean a lot to us, so it also means a lot to be able to share the experience with you all. From Vana’diel to Eorzea and back again, our misadventures have taken us far and wide.

We’ll be sure to still play around in Final Fantasy XI every now and then, but with most of the story-line there showcased and completed on our live streams, it’s time to get into beefier content. I can think of no better story-line than Final Fantasy XIV, an epic saga to be sure when we go all the way back to the start.

Together, Kresh and I will play on Saturdays for main story-line content, and every now and then I’ll play on off days, farting around on other jobs and all around having a good time.

I’ve already done a few early morning, lazy streams of the content, and the vods can be found here:

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time.

Click to Donate

You can help support us through PayPal or Patreon.

Meanwhile, check out some of our other great content below. You can also find more information about supporting us at the bottom of this post.

With your contributions, you make our efforts possible. Thank you for supporting our content. Patreon supporters receive access into our official Discord server, and a few other perks depending on the tier. If you don’t care for Patreon, and don’t care about perks, you can always support us through PayPal too… links below.

Those who join via Patreon get special perks, such as extra content, quicker updates, and more.

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To Our Supporters

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The “Bad Writing” of Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin

To start with, we’ve all heard that excuse time and time again from fandom. In our favorite shows, movies, books and other media, there’s always someone who shouts two simple words into the void; “bad writing!”. They shout this before leaving the matter at that.

I’ve seen messy writing in plenty of pieces of media, I’ve seen poorly executed writing even beyond that. However, bad writing is an outlier in such a drastic way that it actually annoys me to hear this turn of phrase more often than not…

Typically a person says this if they don’t agree with a narrative decision within the media presented to them. There’s plenty of discourse to be had about how something could have been done better, sure enough. No story is flawless, after all.

In point of fact, and I say this very adamantly, I tend to find that the “bad writing” argument crops up more often when a person can’t pin down why they dislike the writing so much. That’s why I’m very unrepentant when I say that the “bad writing” argument is a misnomer for greater prevailing issues.

The issue itself could be many things. Perhaps a personal chord was plucked to make someone feel that way. A story could in fact have “bad” moments of “writing” within the material to upset a person. To someone directly and pointedly offended, “bad writing” might be a solid critique of the way a certain theme was handled… I see that argument a lot in the RWBY fandom. Certain subject matters aren’t always handled with care and concern, so that’s why the critique crops up… but really, in that example, the writing isn’t “bad” per-say, just poorly executed.

There are occasions that it could just be “bad writing” though, truth be told, because there are very rare circumstances when what lies before you is actually little more than a pile of irredeemable drivel. The issue is, that’s an oddity, not a rule… but I have located an oddity recently.

As a gamer, I’ve seen poorly contrived plot elements take a back seat for the sake of bombastic gameplay more times than not. In gaming, this is sometimes a serviceable tactic, but not always… a most recent example comes to mind in Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin. You can watch our gameplay of that over on our Twitch channel…

What makes writing bad, generally comes down to how core issues present the themes in the game. To another point, I find the characters themselves generally unlikable. I find this to be the main problem in Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin.

To be pointedly clear though, this really only applies to the beginning and middle of the game. The last hour and a half, two things happen. Firstly, the cut scenes vastly improve. Secondly, the story actually gets VERY, VERY good!

However, the very good part only applies to the latter section of the game, not everything preceding it, and that’s the reason I’m using it as an example today.

In the earliest parts of the game the plot line often comes down to finding a way to cram the word “Chaos” into as much of the dialogue as humanly possible… in some cases, the story itself jumps the shark by doing a fast-forward to skip an event or two that was obviously deemed required by the writing staff.

Let me walk you through why this is “bad writing” directly on its face. Three guys meet, and immediately after introducing themselves, we get a “bro-fist” as they decide to join together. Then, directly after the very questionable act of deciding to become best buddies, we get two throw away paragraphs about what happens after, with no context or plot driven narrative to fall back upon.

That problem is, that jump in content reduces down to explaining the events that took place, without player related input, or even screen splash showing the event. It’s just a black background with white colored words explaining what players should have gotten to experience…

That’s it, just those two plain black images about visiting with the king, who refuses to allow them to take on their intended mission. Instead, they spend weeks together slaying monsters, and that’s it… literally, that’s all you get before the screen fades to black.

Why were they refused? Why do these supposed crystals look like giant cockroach turds? Why are these characters joining forces simply because the crystals can “sense each other” as one of the characters says they can? Why, amid what amounts to be a throw-away paragraph does it seem like a total and complete afterthought?

It feels like either pure laziness, or a decision compounded by some freakish lack of planning, or a budget crisis. Bad design, no cookie for you. Either way, the story goes on from there… a game shouldn’t feel that way, if it could in any way be avoided.

As a player, you return to these characters, who by now know each other, although we the players still know nothing of them. They’re all sitting upon a boat, complaining about how bored they are, and how they want to do the job they came for already, defeating “Chaos”.

We still don’t have a “why” for any of the above that feels reasonable, and you’d be correct to call that “messy writing” by video game standards. You’d be fair to call it lazy in general. In that singular case, where neither gameplay nor firm story-line exists yet, you could go so far as to call it bad writing. You’d even be right to do so… because at this point, we know next to nothing about these characters, or their deeper motivations.

I don’t often care much for the “show, don’t tell” rule in writing. There are times you do have to “tell” an off-screen plot element or two instead of showcasing it… but this use of “telling” is much too flagrant here. It is bad writing, firm and flat out… that’s why I fall to Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin as my foremost example of “bad writing”, because frankly, there was just no excuse.

As I said before though, in gaming, a good story-line typically takes a back seat to bombastic gameplay. To be honest, that game is very bombastic, over the top in the best of times.

According to Kresh, who is playing the game on the stream, it’s also pretty fun on occasion. Perhaps that’s a saving grace, but the story-line and the occasional direct lack of it, does hinder the game too.

I cannot personally comment on how “fun” it is to play. I can only speak upon the theatricality of the combat itself. However, I’ll say this, you’d be hard pressed to call the gameplay itself boring, as even your small, typically encountered leveling fodder have a habit to explode in bright, if ominous colors.

This tends to leave a crystalline residue of their exploded corpses in their wake… and frankly, as I said, it is bombastic. I don’t think you could call it brilliant, or even tangentially metaphorical to the plot-line at all. It has ties to the deeper themes, sure enough… but it doesn’t lend to the world building in a way that feels satisfactory. It just looks cool.

All-in-all if you need a very recent example of bad writing in game design, look no further than Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin. Does it entirely ruin the game? No, not exactly. It’s still a serviceable gameplay experience. It’s interesting enough for me to watch, and for Kresh to play… so there is that at least. That said, if you want a solid narrative, this isn’t the Final Fantasy title for you… far from it.

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets, where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course. I’ll see you next time.

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We’re Finally Getting Male Viera. I am so excited for this.

In the Final Fantasy series, it is a common trope to had certain character races in the game to be one specified gender, or at least predominantly overflowing with that gender. For example, Final Fantasy XI (FFXI from here on out), the much older MMORPG gave us the Mithra, a primarily female race of “cat-girls” basically.

In the lore of FFXI, females were known to be more common than males by default. Among them, this was a polt line, important to their narrative backstory. While male Mithra were known to exist, you couldn’t play as them, and you rarely ever saw them as NPC’s.

Sadly, in FFXI there is only one male Mithra important enough to speak of, and merely implications of others running around out there somewhere. Due to this, it can be hard to really resonate with the Mithra depending on how you like to represent yourself in games.

This issue was corrected in Final Fantasy XIV with the new Mithra variant, known as Miqo’te. You could play as both male and female versions of this race.

Unfortunately, when the Viera were first added, they faced the similar issue as the Mithra for player representation in Final Fantasy XIV. You could play as the female form, but not the male form. During the Final Fantasy Fan Festival however, a very important announcement was made. Male Viera are being added.

This is incredible news, because gender identity is in small part a gamer’s identity. Frankly, in gaming, this really does matter in an MMORPG. For those of us in the GLBTQ or GRSM communities (depending how you identify) having meaningful representation and inclusion across all playable races allow more freedom of identifiable choice. Something we receive too little of in the “real world”.

Really, there was no reason not to have males running around before, but the distinct lack of them fed into too many negative “bunny girl” stereotypes that male Viera inclusion simply helps to mitigate. Those of us who wish to play Viera, but also play distinctly male characters can finally do it when they release, and that’s something to really look forward to.

It that can’t be understated. In an MMORPG when you can easily spend years of you life playing these characters, having one that fits how you want to be portrayed matters a lot. So, I’m excited.

One of these days, I really should dive into the confines of gender as it applies to gaming, but that’s for another post. For now, I just want to be excited for the day that we finally get to have male Viera as a playable choice.

It might not mean much for most gamers, but for one like myself, it is an inclusive step forward in a game I very much like to play. I’d never play a “bunny girl”, so I don’t identify well with female Viera, but let’s be honest, those boys don’t look half bad. I’m all for playing a male Viera, just like I thoroughly enjoy my male Miqo’te. Anyway, I am super excited for this, and wanted to share that joy with you.

This has been Kernook of The Demented Ferrets…

“Where stupidity is at its finest and level grinds are par for the course…”

The Demented Ferrets…

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