Hey all, long time no see. Yeah, it’s been a bit, I won’t lie. I wanted to do a brief update and let you all know why there was a lapse in content, and why (hopefully) that’s going to remedy itself soon.
Let me start with the obligatory apology, which of course, is more heartfelt than words on the screen could probably adequately describe. If I sound bitter, it’s because I am a little bit. I shouldn’t have needed to make this post in the first place, shouldn’t need to showcase just what an idiot I can be at time, and I feel like I can’t possibly say anything that really satisfies. I’m more than a little frustrated at myself, so “I’m sorry” really doesn’t feel like enough.
First of all, I’m sorry for the lack of content recently. Truly I am, with my mother’s health acting up as it has, and general life sucking all around, you probably aren’t too thrilled about that.
I’m not either, trust me. I won’t make excuses and say that this absence and lack of written content was entirely out of my hands. There were times I did have time to write, only to sit at a blank white screen and scowl at it. Stress being what it is, and all.
My mother’s blood count is still all over the place. She’s at the emergency room right now in fact, receiving three units of blood. She’s going in on august 3rd for surgery, so yes, my family and I are being as proactive as we can about this… however, to say this doesn’t cause some level of anxiety would be a bold faced lie…. I’ve been exhausted for a long time emotionally, so self-care became important, and the meant stepping away from content for a while.
There were a lot of times I sat down to write only to find myself unsatisfied with the content I had been writing too. I don’t want to produce total crap, but recently it felt like it has been total crap insofar as my drafts are concerned. I don’t want to release complete and total garbage that wouldn’t be enjoyed, and I felt like that would be the way it ended up.
All of that to say, yeah things haven’t been great, my head was up my ass a bit, writers block hit hard, and all-in-all I just wasn’t at my best. That’s the root cause, that’s the reason, I’ll leave it up to you if that’s valid enough or not…
You know, they say a writer is their own worst critic, and I think that’s true. I also think it’s true that sometimes the content we should feel proud of falls short of the mark not because it’s bad content. Far from it, but rather it seems to miss a spark that you just feel isn’t there.
That’s how a lot of my drafts have felt for me. It’s that feeling if dissatisfaction that ultimately clouds and muddies up the mind. Now, I’m a huge fan of what I like to call the “write and toss” and if you read my fan fiction, you’ll know that I often just sort of go with that method because it doesn’t allow you to dwell upon it.
It’s not the same for anime and gaming reviews though, where it is absolutely paramount to consider the finer details of the series and link of the bigger picture. I can’t just write and toss that, but I’ve finally found that spark again. The ebb and flow of writing being what it is, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I’ve finally written a few pieces of content I can be proud of, so get ready for that.
In any case, there it is… my own stress and idiocy on full display. I’m sorry, and that’s what it all comes down to. Expect content in the following days, it’s already scheduled, so it’ll go out. See you there.